Sorry for not posting sooner, but now I’m back at home everything’s a bit normal. It’s my birthday in a couple of days, that should be semi-interesting I guess. The Eurovision Song Contest is on Saturday this week, the semi-finals were on tonight along with the launch of Big Brother VII, but more about that later. First off, I’m glad to see Finalnd made it through, who would of thought such a kick-ass song could come from Finland? Not I! It’s a shame Greece don’t have a sense of humour as Iceland was entertaining, but aren’t they always. Please stop getting your hopes up UK. We will not win, we will be lucky to even reach the Top 10! Thank god for the remote control, once Finland performed I flicked in between this and Big Brother.
Ah Big Brother, or as I like to refer to it, The Human Microwave. You pop in a person and 3 minutes later you get something that passes for a celebrity. So who’ve we got in the house this year? BONNIE, 20, CARE WORKER: Is her accent even British? I think they deserved to be booed going in, just to show them they’re not a zelebrity yet! PETE, 24, ROCK ‘N’ ROLL SINGER: He is just an attention seeking faker… So, this years winner?! (first impressions, please read above) GEORGE, 19, STUDENT: Hello to this years Stuart, if he does not find his Michelle then he will be out of there quicker than a hobnob in a cuppa. SHABAZ, 37, UNEMPLOYED: I think he has a hard shell. Definitely the least annoying so far, and that’s saying something. LEA, 35, MODEL: I wonder how long before she breaks down crying… Apparently 6 seconds. Eww, Shabaz has gone down in my expectations. If he clings onto Lea anymore her boobs will pop out. MIKEY, 23, SOFTWARE DEVELOPER: A lads lad. I have no kind words, I’m too busy watching Iceland, now she has a personality worth writing about. DAWN, 38, EXERCISE SCIENTIST: A pessimist… Is it an act, is she a suicidal outcast? No… She’s just a wannabe in sheeps clothing. GLYN, 18, LIFEGUARD: I literally had to cover my mouth to stop from throwing up. Welsh? What region of Welsh produces that kind of accent? RICHARD, 33, WAITER: Channel 4…? I thought I accidentally stumbled onto Adult TV there for a second, and that’s not a good thing. GRACE, 20, DANCE TEACHER: Her clothes are real, unfortunately so is her personality. But with this lot it’s actually a breath of fresh air. Hello to my new least annoying housemate, whilst Shabaz is now the most annoying housemate EVER! SESER, 26, ENTREPRENEUR: Everything was going so well until he got nude. I want to gouge my eyes out. NIKKI, 24, MODEL: Attention, we have our bunny boiler. As if we didn’t need more proof she is dressed up as a bunny. You’d better watch out George! Oh and as for IMOGEN and LISA, I have no witty words for them. They appear about as normal as normal can be in the Big Brother house.
And those are our 14… About the exact age and/or IQ you need to enjoy this drivel. Ah, at least there’s always the possibility of Dawn hanging her herself or Pete spontaneously combusting. Thank god for channel surfing, no doubt I’ll form a more well-rounded opinion sooner or later.