Episode One « All Cleared Up

Opening – JAMIE, a fifteen-year-old girl with blonde hair, sighs and looks at the boxes in her sister’s room. She’s leaving for college.

CALISTA: You better move otherwise I’ll end up packing you!
JAMIE: I wish you would.
AUDIENCE: Awwwwwwwwwwwwww! *mixed with laughter*
CALISTA: What’s up, sis? You’ve had a face like a single guy in his forties with no money getting offered services from a prostitute all week.

The Audience laugh.

CALISTA: Call me crazy…
AUDIENCE: Crazy! *barrels of laughter*
CALISTA: Would you bum’s fuck off, I’m trying to have a meaningful discussion with my sister.
JAMIE: It doesn’t matter. Nothing you say will change things because you’re leaving forever. Now I’m going to go try and make out with my gay best friend to make me feel better.

JAMIE cries and runs out of the bedroom, however because it’s a stage she forgets to use the door and runs straight into the camera.

JAMIE: Ow!

*OPENING TITLES*

Various pre-filmed footage of the character’s jumping around a park intercut with future scenes from the show. Each character’s name is pulled on by a hoping CGI bunny.

“Every birthday, my mom would say to me,
You’re another year older and you’re still getting spottier.

But then she died and I moved in with my sister,
I’m called Jamie, she’s Calista and our Mom is a robot!

All Cleared Up!
I really wanna scream it loud!

All Cleared Up!
I want them all to know!

All Cleared Up!
I really hope that things will be,

All Cleared Up for me!”

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