Episode One « All Cleared Up

Act 2 – In JAMES’S room.

JAMES: And that’s my plan!
JAMIE: What?
JAMES: What I just said.
JAMIE: You didn’t say anything, you just said ‘and that’s my plan’.
JAMES: Oh right! What I meant to say was why don’t we visit The Professor and get him to build you a robot mom so you don’t have to go and live with freaky alien foster parents.
JAMIE: That’s your idea?

JAMES nods.

JAMIE: Well I don’t like it.

JAMIE leaves and a few seconds pass before JAMES gets a phone call.

JAMIE (on phone): I love it! Let’s get going.
JAMES: Couldn’t you have told me that here? Now I have to go to your place and play out another pointless scene before we actually meet The Professor.
JAMIE (on phone): I know but isn’t it exciting, come on let’s do it!

JAMIE rushes in to her house and CALISTA comes down the stairs.

CALISTA: Oh good, you’re back. You took so long I thought you might have gotten lucky with Jamie.
JAMIE: Oh please, you’re likely to get high and sleep with old man Jenkins the day I get lucky with Jamie!
CALISTA: But that happened just yesterday.
JAMIE: What?!
CALISTA: I mean nothing, you’re hearing things. You’ve been listening to Britney Spears too loud again.

JAMES skips into JAMIE’S house wearing a beautiful ensemble of various gay colours.

JAMES: Hey fabulous! You ready to go?
JAMIE: Sure. Nice costume change by the way.

JAMIE begins to leave until JAMES pulls her back.

JAMES: You’re supposed to say; let me just get my jacket, so I can talk to Calista for a bit.
JAMIE: Oh okay! Let me just get my jacket so you can talk to Calista for a bit.
CALISTA: So Jamie, you still gay?
JAMES: That depends, are you still refusing to mud wrestle with Illyria from down the road?
CALISTA: Yep!
JAMES: Then I’m still gay.

JAMIE returns without a jacket.

JAMIE: That seemed pointless.
JAMES: Don’t question the ways of the writer just get moving, bee-yotch!

JAMES slaps JAMIE on the bum in a very 1920s sexist fashion before he leaves. CALISTA is left looking sad until JAMES returns and slaps her bum too.

CALISTA: Yippee!

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