Episode One « All Cleared Up
Act 2 – In JAMES’S room.
JAMES: And that’s my plan!
JAMES: What I just said.
JAMIE: You didn’t say anything, you just said ‘and that’s my plan’.
JAMES: Oh right! What I meant to say was why don’t we visit The Professor and get him to build you a robot mom so you don’t have to go and live with freaky alien foster parents.
JAMIE: That’s your idea?
JAMIE: Well I don’t like it.
JAMIE leaves and a few seconds pass before JAMES gets a phone call.
JAMIE (on phone): I love it! Let’s get going.
JAMES: Couldn’t you have told me that here? Now I have to go to your place and play out another pointless scene before we actually meet The Professor.
JAMIE (on phone): I know but isn’t it exciting, come on let’s do it!
JAMIE rushes in to her house and CALISTA comes down the stairs.
CALISTA: Oh good, you’re back. You took so long I thought you might have gotten lucky with Jamie.
JAMIE: Oh please, you’re likely to get high and sleep with old man Jenkins the day I get lucky with Jamie!
CALISTA: But that happened just yesterday.
CALISTA: I mean nothing, you’re hearing things. You’ve been listening to Britney Spears too loud again.
JAMES skips into JAMIE’S house wearing a beautiful ensemble of various gay colours.
JAMES: Hey fabulous! You ready to go?
JAMIE: Sure. Nice costume change by the way.
JAMIE begins to leave until JAMES pulls her back.
JAMES: You’re supposed to say; let me just get my jacket, so I can talk to Calista for a bit.
JAMIE: Oh okay! Let me just get my jacket so you can talk to Calista for a bit.
CALISTA: So Jamie, you still gay?
JAMES: That depends, are you still refusing to mud wrestle with Illyria from down the road?
JAMES: Then I’m still gay.
JAMIE returns without a jacket.
JAMIE: That seemed pointless.
JAMES: Don’t question the ways of the writer just get moving, bee-yotch!
JAMES slaps JAMIE on the bum in a very 1920s sexist fashion before he leaves. CALISTA is left looking sad until JAMES returns and slaps her bum too.