Episode Three « All Cleared Up

Act 5In the school car park, MS. FAIRCHILD is about to get into her car when MOM-BOT approaches her.

MS. FAIRCHILD: May I help you?
MOM-BOT: Yes, I am just a normal mother of a normal student who attends your normal educational facility.
MS. FAIRCHILD: Clearly. Aren’t you Jamie’s adoptive mother?

JAMIE and JAMES come rushing out of the school to the car park.

MOM-BOT: Yes, that is correct. Are you Ms. Fairchild?
MS. FAIRCHILD: Indeed I am. And may I take this chance to congratulate you on continuing to raise such an intelligent daughter.
JAMIE: Really, you think that?
MS. FAIRCHILD: Yes. I know I don’t act like it but I am delighted to have you in my class, it makes my job worth while.
JAMIE: Well, I try my hardest.
JAMES: Ugh, enough with the Hallmark moment!
MOM-BOT: Did you not hear that? If Jamie tries her hardest then how can you continue to degrade her work?
JAMIE: What! How do you know about my F?
MS. FAIRCHILD: Ms. Foster, a student’s grade is retrospective of their work. If Jamie fails to produce that work to the standard at which is expected then she will receive an F, that’s how it works for all of my students.
JAMIE: And I checked mom, it wasn’t up to standard.
MOM-BOT: Bullshit! She is lying; you are only capable of producing A-grade work.

MOM-BOT raises her plunger-arm and points it at MS. FAIRCHILD.

JAMIE: Mom-Bot, no!
MS. FAIRCHILD: What on earth, is that what I think it is?
JAMES: Ms. Fairchild, run and get out of here.

MOM-BOT’S laser-arm begins to pulsate with a blue light as JAMIE tries to reason with her.

JAMIE: Come on, you were doing so well. Don’t do this.
MS. FAIRCHILD: I have the name of a surgeon who can help you with that. Let me just get his number for you.

As MS. FAIRCHILD turns around to get in her car MOM-BOT shoots a ray at her, which catapults her into the air. There, she is suspended in mid-air, screaming as MOM-BOT prepares to finish her off.

JAMIE: Think about it. You’re smart, you know what’ll happen if you kill her.

MOM-BOT looks at JAMIE with her metallic blue eyes and sighs as she disarms her ray and lets MS. FAIRCHILD fall to the ground.

JAMIE: Thank you.
JAMES: Miss, are you okay?
MS. FAIRCHILD: No, I certainly am not.
JAMIE: Please don’t tell anyone, she didn’t mean to…
MS. FAIRCHILD: To what? Levitate me in the air with her super-human powers.
JAMES: Human?
JAMIE: Yes, she is human. She’s a very powerful human and if you don’t do what she says she will make your life a living hell.

The atmosphere is tense as MS. FAIRCHILD thinks about JAMIE’S offer.

MS. FAIRCHILD: Fine, I won’t tell anyone. As if they’d believe me anyway, I’m supposed to be a well respected science teacher.
MOM-BOT: Jamie, I’m…
JAMIE: Stop, don’t act like you know what feeling sorry is about. Just promise me you won’t do this again.

MS. FAIRCHILD gets in her car and starts the engine as MOM-BOT sets off home.

MS. FAIRCHILD: Oh, and you can expect that anymore slacking off in your work will be severely punished. You think she’s capable of hell? You ain’t seen nothing yet.
JAMES: Oh-no-she-didn’t?!
JAMIE: No this is fine, I like a challenge. I kidnapped my sister so she wouldn’t leave home, my mom is a robot, and my best friend is gay. Do I mind?
JAMES: Yes, you complain every spare chance you get.
JAMIE: Regardless of my complaining, do I mind?
JAMES: Well no.
JAMIE: Exactly, this is just another stitch in the woven tapestry that is my life.
JAMES: Wow, that’s very deep.
JAMIE: Thank you, I got it off of Desperate Housewives.
JAMES: Oh! Have you been watching the new series?
JAMIE: OhMiGod, I cannot believe what Edie did.

JAMIE and JAMES chat and walk off into the sunset as the credits roll.


“All Cleared Up” © 2005-2007 & 2010 Thomas John McNab. “James, The Professor & Jamie” Concept Art based on artwork created by Butch Hartman.