Episode Four « All Cleared Up
Act 2 – At The Laboratory, JAMIE is standing shiftily outside his front door, waiting to be let inside.
THE PROF.: Jamie! What are you doing here?
JAMIE: I needed to speak to you.
THE PROF.: Shouldn’t you be at school?
JAMIE: Yes I should but I’m not, am I?
THE PROF.: Oh, that! Well you’d better come in then, hadn’t you?
JAMIE quickly hurries inside and begins to talk with THE PROF..
JAMIE: Why didn’t it work? You said you could make a hologram appear at school in my place.
THE PROF.: It was only a prototype, and an advanced one at that. I’m surprised I even let myself give it to you in the first place. I mean, it could have short circuited and…
JAMIE: The consequences, yada, yada, yada! I get it. Just tell me how to get it working.
THE PROF.: I’m afraid you’ll have to bring it back before I can fix it.
JAMIE: But I haven’t the time, I’ve already missed a day of school, and now I’m cutting class. I know it’s only a matter of time before some snot-nosed teacher calls my house to check with mom and see if I’m okay.
THE PROF.: And I take it you still haven’t told her about all of this.
JAMIE: No-fucking-duh! Look, isn’t there something you could give me? A chemical or something that would stop me from having to lie…
THE PROF.: No, the only solution to your problem is to tell your Mom-Bot and Jamie the truth.
JAMIE: Have you lost your mind again? Do you not remember that I have a homicidal robot for a mother? And Jamie, well, you might as well kiss our friendship goodbye once he finds out. No, couldn’t you give me something to stop all of this from happening?
THE PROF.: Jamie, no. What you’re asking violates all sorts of natural laws. You’re asking me to tamper with the human being, to alter your genetic structure, I could never do that.
JAMIE: What the fuck? You do it all the time! Just last week you were bragging about how you created a cow that could spurt flavoured milk.
THE PROF.: The word is lactate and that’s totally different. Animals don’t usually complain when things go wrong and things always go wrong. There are always consequences and the results are always usually catastrophic. Do you not listen to a word I tell you?
JAMIE: Fine! If you won’t help me then I’ll just have to keep on lying.
JAMIE storms up to the door but turns around and faces THE PROF. one last time.
JAMIE: But be warned, you’re forcing me onto a dangerous path. A path of deceit and betrayal and I just hope you can live with yourself when the consequences of your actions come back to bite you in the ass!
THE PROF.: I think I’ll manage. Toodles!
THE PROF. slams the door in JAMIE’S face. As she turns to leave she sees PAOLO coming towards The Laboratory holding a shopping bag.
PAOLO: ¡Hola, Jamie!
JAMIE: Listen, how would you like to spend the next hour or so with Jamie?
PAOLO: Usted Jamie.
JAMIE: No, James. Remember, the blonde boy?
PAOLO: Ah sí. Quisiera conseguir mejor de saber con el muchacho.
JAMIE: Okay, you’re gonna have to speak English.
PAOLO: Never mind. When I see him?
JAMIE: Come with me now.
PAOLO: No. I have to bring food back for Professor and draw him bath. Amo miércoles, el cuerpo del profesor estoy tan…
JAMIE: Paolo, I’ll make it worth your while.
JAMIE produces a fan of money from her back pocket.
PAOLO: Estoy faltando la ocasión de ver al Profesor desnudo. Usted necesita hacer mucho mejor que ese amigo.
JAMIE: Ugh, just please take it all and go and make sure Jamie doesn’t try and find me.
PAOLO: Where you go?
JAMIE: To see a friend.