Episode Six « All Cleared Up


Act 2
– JAMIE and JAMES are heading towards the Pizza Hutch for their second day of work.

JAMIE: Stop talking about it.
JAMES: Don’t laugh; it is not just an urban legend. I’ll catch one of ’em at it, you just watch. In fact, don’t watch you’ll scare them off. Did you know that you’re the only girl working here?
JAMIE: Really! And here was me thinking I fitted right in when I walked into this testosterone filled environment yesterday.
JAMES: Well you do have freakishly strong upper-body strength.

As they walk into the staff room the two friends are greeted with a round of applause which stops them in their tracks and leaves them surprised. Suddenly,
JAMIE takes centre stage and begins waving.

JAMIE: Thank you, thank you! I don’t know what to say. You like me, you really like me!?
PIZZA HUTCH WORKER: No, you suck!
BRANDON: James, my man.
JAMES: Really? Jamie, did you hear that? I’m his man.
JAMIE: Ugh, why is it always the hotties that are gay?
BRANDON: You, my buddy, managed to surpass our record for the most sales in one day.
JAMES (to Jamie): I’m his buddy.
JAMIE: His butt buddy?
BRANDON: What?
JAMES: Nothing, ignore her. What’s this about sales?
BRANDON: Don’t be so modest, you were a maniac in that kitchen yesterday. You keep going the way you are and I could be looking at a fellow shift manager by the end of next month.

BRANDON enthusiastically slaps JAMES on the back, sending him flying to floor. Unphased, BRANDON goes off to rejoin his other friends.

JAMIE: Why do you get all the credit? I was working in that kitchen yesterday, too. I don’t believe you, how could you do this to me?

JAMIE walks out into the kitchen as JAMES stands up and limps after her.

JAMES: Hey, you were the one who wanted me to get this job.
JAMIE: But I didn’t think you’d actually be any good at it.
JAMES: Oh, right. Stupid, dumb Jamie couldn’t butter the right side of the bread if his life depended on it.
JAMIE: That’s not what I meant.
JAMES: No, I think it is what you meant. You’re just jealous that, for once, I’m the centre of attention and you’re the one struggling to pick up the pace.
JAMIE: Oh! You think I can’t pick up the pace? I’ll show you pace.

JAMIE begins to frantically assemble pizzas as JAMES quickly follows. As they fling the toppings onto the base JAMIE looks over at JAMES and chucks a mushroom at his head.

JAMES: Ow! You bitch.
JAMIE: Well it takes one to know one.

JAMIE throws another topping at JAMES as he throws one back. JAMIE picks up a carrot and gets ready to hurl it toward JAMIE.

JAMIE: Here have a carrot, they’re good for you.
JAMES: Well why don’t you have one then, you fat ox?

JAMES retaliates with a carrot himself and soon more toppings are being flung in every direction. JAMIE dips her hand into the grated cheese and prepares to launch it at JAMES.

JAMIE: Hey James, say cheese and die!

JAMES instinctively ducks just as BRANDON, the shift manager, walks into the kitchen. Instead of hitting JAMES the cheese hits BRANDON in the face with an unbelievable force that sends him flying backwards.

BRANDON: What is going on in here?

JAMIE is stood there horrified as JAMES looks on. BRANDON instinctively turns towards JAMIE.

BRANDON: You! You are so…
JAMIE: Fired?
BRANDON: Dismissed. You’re just lucky the manager isn’t here otherwise you would be fired. I can take a joke as much as the next person but you have been nothing but an annoyance since you arrived. Go home and think long and hard…
JAMES (giggling): Long and hard!
BRANDON: …About whether or not you’re ready for this job. Can you handle the shift by yourself, James?
JAMES: Um, I don’t…
BRANDON: You’re right; it’s too much for a newbie. Don’t worry; I’ll stick by your side.

BRANDON walks over to the sink to wash the cheese off of his face as JAMES throws JAMIE a victorious smile. Dejected, she leaves the restaurant.

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