Episode Six « All Cleared Up
Act 5 – JAMES and JAMIE are sat on a low brick wall outside in front of where the Pizza Hutch used to be. Fire trucks are parked in various spots and a crowd of people are standing in the parking lot that used to belong to the restaurant.
JAMIE: I’m glad no-one was hurt, but do you think anyone will find out it was me who started the fire.
JAMES: Judging by the look on the manager’s face, who’s walking towards us right now, I’d bet yes.
Stood in front of JAMIE and JAMES is the manager of the Pizza Hutch, holding the charred remains of what can clearly be identified as a pair of gloves.
PIZZA HUTCH MANAGER: Alright, now both of you were working today so I just want a one-word answer. Whose are these gloves?
PIZZA HUTCH MANAGER: You’re fired.
JAMIE: Wait, let me-
PIZZA HUTCH MANAGER: I don’t wanna hear it! There’s no excuse you can tell me that would explain why you threw a pair of, what appears to be some kind of electronic glove, into my oven.
JAMIE hesitates and lets out a sigh as she lowers her head. The manager turns and walks away.
JAMIE: Well that was fun while it lasted. Do you think I could get a job in telemarketing? That doesn’t require a lot of skill, other than talking and being able to convince people that what you’re trying to sell them isn’t just a hunk o’ crap.
JAMIE: Come on, give me a little credit.
JAMES: I mean no, you’re not taking the fall for this.
JAMES catches up with the manager and stops him from walking off.
JAMES: Sir, I’m sorry but it’s me you’re going to have to fire, not Jamie.
PIZZA HUTCH MANAGER: But you’re our best worker, why would I do that?
JAMES: Because I started the fire. It was me who threw the gloves into the oven, not Jamie. Jamie just owned up because the gloves belonged to her.
PIZZA HUTCH MANAGER: But you chucked them in the oven?
JAMES: That’s right.
PIZZA HUTCH MANAGER: Why did you go and do that? Now I am going to have to fire you.
JAMES: Would you believe me if I told you they were possessed.
PIZZA HUTCH MANAGER: Yes! Yes I would, I wouldn’t have to fire you then.
JAMES: Oh… and Jamie can come back too?
PIZZA HUTCH MANAGER: Well with the fire damage bill and the cost of relocating the staff, I can’t keep everybody on. Jamie’s performance these past few days tell me she’s just not cut out for this job.
JAMES: Well then I’m sorry, but neither am I.
PIZZA HUTCH MANAGER: Are you sure about that?
JAMES nods as the manager sighs and pats him on the back, sending JAMES falling to the floor.
PIZZA HUTCH MANAGER: You were a damn fine worker. You’re gonna make a restaurant real proud one day; I guess it won’t be our franchise though.
The manager walks off into the sunset as JAMES stands up and is joined by JAMIE.
JAMIE: Why did you do that? That job was, like your calling.
JAMES: Like I said, I only got it so I could hang out with you.
JAMIE hugs JAMES and smiles.
JAMIE: Is that true?
JAMES: Meh, partially. To be honest I’ve got my eye on one of the bus-boys and it’s company policy that coworker’s can’t date.
JAMIE: Bus-boy? I thought you liked Brandon.
JAMES: Brandon?! That was just me being my usual flirty self. You know he’s not gay?
JAMIE: He isn’t?
JAMES: No! In fact, I think he liked you.
JAMIE: Really! OhMiGod… and you had to get us both fired.
JAMIE slaps JAMES who grimaces.
JAMES: Hey, just ’cause we’re fired doesn’t mean we can’t hang out at one of the many fine Pizza Hutch establishments around our town. And it helps that I know which one Brandon’s being relocated to.
JAMIE: I can’t be spending all of my money on pizzas; that’s why I got a job in the first place.
JAMES: But say you and I were perhaps dating two exemplary staff of the Pizza Hutch. Then we wouldn’t have to pay for a thing.
JAMIE: Alrighty then! Which bus-boy is your crush?
JAMES points to one of the bus-boys standing in the small crowd of people still outside the burnt down Pizza Hutch.
JAMIE: I hate to break it to you but I think that boy he’s with looks like his boyfriend.
JAMES: Oh snap!
JAMIE: Come on, do you want to come back to mine – we can listen to the radio?!
JAMES: No, I think I’m gonna stop off by The Professor’s laboratory and see if he has some more gloves.
JAMIE: Why do you want them?
JAMES: Let’s just say if I had a pair of those, I don’t think my bus-boy boy and his boy would be boyfriend and boyfriend much longer.
JAMIE: Oh boy!
“All Cleared Up” © 2005-2007 & 2010 Thomas John McNab. “James, The Professor & Jamie” Concept Art based on artwork created by Butch Hartman.