Episode Seven « All Cleared Up

Opening – JAMIE is in the shower, washing her hair. It’s Halloween and she has been feeling tense all day. As she let’s the warm water rinse her hair, she reminisces about her day at school…

JAMIE is in the school corridor, on her way to her locker to get her stuff before school finishes. She passes TIFFANY BRANTFORD and her clique who are all whispering and pointing at JAMIE.

JAMIE: If you’ve got something to say, Tiffany Brantford, why don’t you just come out and say it?
TIFFANY BRANTFORD: Oh, we were all just wondering why you decided to come to school in your Halloween costume.

JAMIE scowls and buries her head inside her locker to escape the hideous cackling that follows TIFFANY BRANTFORD’S insult. When she emerges, the group of girls all surround her.

JAMIE: For your information I don’t celebrate Halloween anymore, I’m not a kid.
TIFFANY BRANTFORD: Oh but we think you are; deep down inside, you’re just as fragile and as afraid as you were when you were a little girl… back when your mother couldn’t even remember to pick you up from school and it was left down to your Uncle Bogeyman to come pick you up.

JAMIE slams her locker shut and breaks through the cluster of girls surrounding her, running towards the exit. When she gets outside, JAMIE stops running and slowly breathes in the cool refreshing air, forcing her tears down by closing her eyes tight. When she opens them, TIFFANY BRANTFORD is standing next to her, her sleek black hair gently falling in front of her eyes as the wind blows.

TIFFANY BRANTFORD: So what happened next, Jamie? Why is it you were so late starting your period… some unspeakable trauma in your life perhaps?
JAMIE: You know we all have problems, Tiffany Brantford. Why is it that I have to be the only one to suffer?
TIFFANY BRANTFORD: You’re not… everyone will suffer.

JAMIE continues to run as TIFFANY BRANTFORD is joined by her clique and they all tilt back their heads and let out a high-pitched hyena-like cackle that can be heard for miles. When JAMIE reaches a tree by the school’s exit she comes to a stop and rests upon it, sobbing as the shrill hyena-like cackling continues to echo around her.

SOMEONE: They’re all gonna laugh at you.

JAMIE gasps and turns around to see PIPER LAURIE standing behind her.

JAMIE: Piper Laurie, what are you doing here?
PIPER LAURIE: I’m here to support your school’s Comedic Youth Club. They’re all gonna laugh at you.
JAMIE: You said that already.
PIPER LAURIE: They’re all gonna laugh at you.
JAMIE: Stop saying that!
PIPER LAURIE: They’re all gonna laugh at you. They’re all gonna laugh at you.
JAMIE: Stop, I’m not even in the comedic youth club.
PIPER LAURIE: They’re all… oh? Right then, can you point me in the right direction.
JAMIE: I think it’s in the Auditorium over there.

JAMIE points to a building by the school and PIPER LAURIE eerily floats towards it, her haunting voice becoming a whispering echo as she gets further and further away.

PIPER LAURIE: They’re all gonna laugh at you…they’re all gonna laugh at you…gonna laugh at you…laugh at you…at you…you…ooo…ooo.

JAMIE has tears running down her face, she opens her eyes and is shocked to see a shadow behind the shower curtain. Suddenly, it is yanked across to reveal MOM-BOT, who is wearing a wig and holding a knife in the air.

JAMIE: Aaaaaarrrrggghh!!!
MOM-BOT: Aaaaaarrrrggghh!!!
JAMIE: What the hell are you doing?
MOM-BOT: I baked some muffins.

JAMIE looks away from the knife and sees a tray of muffins in Mom-Bot’s other hand.

MOM-BOT: They are pumpkin.
JAMIE: Please, never walk in on me in the shower again. Especially when you’re brandishing a butcher knife and – why are you wearing a wig?
MOM-BOT: I was trying on my costume, for the party.
JAMIE: Get out.
MOM-BOT: James is downstairs.
JAMIE: Oh, and I bet he put you up to this?
MOM-BOT: He said it was okay to come and see you and offer you a muffin. Do you want a muffin?
JAMIE: Yes, please go and take mine downstairs and shove it up Jamie’s ass!
MOM-BOT: Oh… very well.

JAMIE pulls the curtain back across and continues to shower. Her bad mood changes when she hears JAMES’ screams of pain from downstairs.


“Every birthday, my mom would say to me
You’re another year older and you’re still getting spottier

But then she died and I moved in with my sister
I’m called Jamie, she’s Calista and our Mom is a robot!

All Cleared Up!
I really wanna scream it loud!

All Cleared Up!
I want them all to know!

All Cleared Up!
I really hope that things will be,

All Cleared Up for me!”