Episode Seven « All Cleared Up

Act 3The sun is setting in Sitcomland, and already young children are walking about in clusters trick ‘r treating. JAMES and CALISTA rush out of the Drugstore, unable to find JAMIE.

JAMES: We can’t be more than a few minutes behind her.
CALISTA: If she even went back home. What if he’s taken her, Jamie? What if he takes her somewhere and we can’t find her? What if he kills her? What if…?
JAMES: Get a hold of yourself, Foolish Whore!

JAMES proceeds to slap CALISTA and shake her.

CALISTA: Thanks, I needed that.

JAMES then kicks CALISTA in the knee and spits on her.

CALISTA: Ow! I didn’t need that.
JAMES: Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.
CALISTA: We have to find Jamie, I won’t stop looking.
JAMES: It’d sure be a whole lot easier if there weren’t all these kids around.
CALISTA: That’s it!

CALISTA begins to move as she takes out her mobile phone.

JAMES: Are you calling Michael Jackson?
CALISTA: No, I’m calling The Professor. Mom-Bot always knows where Jamie is.
THE PROF. (on phone): Hello!
CALISTA: Professor, is Mom-Bot there?
THE PROF. (on phone): Calista! How are you, I hope you’re coming to-
CALISTA: I don’t have time for chit-chat, Jamie’s gone missing.
THE PROF. (on phone): Fine! (Shouting) MOM-BOT!
CALISTA: Thank you.
THE PROF. (on phone): You know one of these days, I’ll have my own spin-off, following my own amazing adventures, and the only appearance you’ll have in it will be as a burning effigy! Here…
MOM-BOT (on phone): Hello?
CALISTA: Mom-Bot, can you tell us where Jamie is?
MOM-BOT (on phone): Who is this?
CALISTA: Mom-Bot, it’s me, Calista.
MOM-BOT (on phone): You!
JAMES: You’d better hand it over, she’ll never tell you.
CALISTA: This is no time for a popularity contest; Now do as I say, you metal-plated bitch.

A little girl, dressed as the Tin Man from “The Wizard of Oz”, passes by as CALISTA yells on the phone. She starts crying and CALISTA looks ashamed of herself.

CALISTA: Oh no, I didn’t mean you, sweety!

JAMES grabs the phone from her.

JAMES: Mom-Bot, it’s Jamie.
MOM-BOT: Jamie!?
JAMES: James.
MOM-BOT: James?
JAMES: The gay one.
MOM-BOT: Ah! How can I help you?
JAMES: I need you to tell us where Jamie is.
MOM-BOT: Why, is she missing?
JAMES: No, she’s here. We just thought it’d be fun to know our exact global position at this very moment in time. We have a bet on as to what it is and I kinda want to win.
MOM-BOT: Very well, according to this you’re standing about twenty feet from her right now.
JAMES: I am?
MOM-BOT: The exact location is Ayden’s Foot Graveyard.
JAMES: Thanks, Mom-Bot.

JAMES hangs up as CALISTA pats the little girl on the back and gives her five dollars before she runs off to join a group of children dressed as the other characters from “The Wizard of Oz”.

JAMES: Apparently she’s at the cemetery.
CALISTA: You mean that cemetery over there?

CALISTApoints to a cemetery that has a sign saying “Ayden’s Foot Graveyard”. JAMES nods and the two frantically rush over to look for JAMIE.

CALISTA (shouting): Jamie!
JAMES (shouting): Jamie?
JAMIE: What?

The two stop in between the rows of gravestones and see JAMIE knelt at one.

CALISTA: Jamie! Don’t you ever go off on your own again.

She joins her on the grass and hugs her. JAMES kneels down and looks at the gravestone.

JAMES: ‘Joyce Kristine Foster’.
JAMIE: I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I just wanted to be by myself.
CALISTA: I understand, it’s okay.
JAMES: It’s okay? But what about Uncle Bogeyman?
JAMIE: Calista?
CALISTA: He didn’t mean…
JAMIE: What aren’t you telling me?
CALISTA: I thought it’d be best if you didn’t know. I didn’t want to worry you.
JAMIE: Tell me.
CALISTA: Come on, I’ll tell you on the way home.
JAMES: But, The Professor’s party…
CALISTA: Will have to wait another year.

CALISTA and JAMIE walk off together as JAMES pouts and stays behind.

JAMES: …Why d’you suppose they made an entire graveyard just for feet?
CALISTA (off-screen): Stop lollygagging!

JAMES feels a sudden chill run down the back of his neck. He quickly runs after them and doesn’t realise the masked stranger closely watching the three teenagers as they walk home.