Episode Nine « All Cleared Up
Act 1 – MOM-BOT, CALISTA, THE PROF., JAMES and JAMIE are all in the FOSTER’S living room.
JAMIE: Wait, what do you mean you burned down Costco?
CALISTA: Mom-Bot knocked over a row of fridge-freezers.
MOM-BOT: Accidentally, might I add.
CALISTA: And that caused them to short-circuit, which started the fire.
JAMIE: Oh! Well thank God you both got out okay.
CALISTA: Oh no, see this all happened almost forty-minutes ago; as soon as the fire started everyone went nuts and Mom-Bot thought it was the perfect time to starting looting.
MOM-BOT: I was simply clearing the aisles so people could escape.
CALISTA: You stepped on one woman’s neck just to get yourself a George Foreman grill – which you already have three of.
MOM-BOT: But this one reduced fat and it was pink; it was supposed to be a surprise gift for Jamie.
JAMIE: Pink, that’s hot.
CALISTA: Are you two high? She burned down Costco and all you can talk about is fat-reducing grilling appliances. Professor, you understand how important this is, don’t you?
THE PROF.: Sorry, were you talking to me? I was too busy watching The O-C.
JAMIE: Ha! See, I’m not the only one who still watches it.
THE PROF.: Still? Oh, I’ve never seen this before, has it been on long?
CALISTA: Has there been a gas-leak or something? Mom-Bot, Costco, plus fire, equals angry-villagers with pitchforks and burning torches.
JAMIE: Are they mad?
CALISTA: Mad! She burned down Costco, they want her head on a pole.
THE PROF.: And you say they’re on their way here?
CALISTA: Like, any second now.
THE PROF.: Well what the fuck are we still doing here watching The O-C and talking about George Foreman grills? We’d better get to my laboratory before…
Suddenly, a thunderous roar of chanting approaches the house and the distant glow of fire can be seen through the curtains. MOM-BOT peers out through the window and CALISTA grabs JAMIE and JAMES in each arm.
CALISTA: Hurry, I want you two to run down to the McKenzie’s house and tell them to call the police. Me and The Professor will try and hold them back.
MOM-BOT: Negative, the McKenzie’s are a part of the lynch-mob too.
JAMES: Ohmigod, we’re all gonna die!
CALISTA: No, not tonight, not like this.
THE PROF.: Wait, I think there’s a way we can make it to my laboratory without them seeing us.
JAMES grabs THE PROF. by the collar and shakes him violently.
JAMES: Tell me how, goddamnit!
THE PROF.: Ow! I was about to show you, there’s no need to manhandle me.
JAMES: Oh, you love it!
JAMIE: Show us what?
THE PROF. walks into the kitchen and across to the cellar door. He leads everyone down into the cellar where he pulls across some boxes and uncovers a grated manhole.
THE PROF.: I discovered it months ago when I studied the blueprints to your house before programming Mom-Bot. It leads directly into the sewer; we can use Mom-Bot’s G-P-S to guide us to my laboratory.
CALISTA: You mean to say that all those times I thought I was trapped in this basement there was actually a way out? Why didn’t you tell me?
THE PROF.: Mmm-dunno, I didn’t really like you all that much.
JAMIE: I’ll go upstairs and pack some things in case we have to stay the night.
CALISTA: But you like me now, right?
THE PROF.: Well…
CALISTA: Come on, you’re rescuing me; you must have some feelings towards me.
THE PROF.: I guess I can tolerate your stupidity more than I used to.
JAMIE (from upstairs): Calista, I need your help.
CALISTA runs upstairs and sees JAMIE backed against the front-door.
JAMIE: They’re here.
CALISTA: Are you sure? I can’t hear anything.
Suddenly, there’s a knock at the door. CALISTA walks over and grabs JAMIE protectively.
JAMIE: Who-who’s there?
TOWNSPERSON: Townspeople. We’d like a word with your mother.
CALISTA: Our mother died almost a year ago after a long, harrowing battle with a debilitating brain cancer and I’ll thank you not to mention it in front of the little child.
JAMIE glances at CALISTA with a look of confusion. Backing away from the door, CALISTA whispers to JAMIE.
CALISTA: You go ahead; I’ll try and hold them off.
JAMIE: Yeah? After that performance I’m sure you’ll be right behind me.
CALISTA: You’d be surprised how convincing my acting can be once I apply myself.
JAMIE: You’ve had five episodes to apply yourself, feel free to start anytime now.
CALISTA: Go, before I decide to join them.
JAMIE rolls her eyes and goes back into the basement. She sees THE PROF. holding the grate open.
THE PROF.: Come on, I’ll help you down.
JAMIE: Um, thanks.
JAMIE cautiously looks into the manhole and sees MOM-BOT and JAMES already down there. THE PROF. gently starts to help JAMIE lower herself inside.
JAMIE: What do I do now?
THE PROF.: Keep holding my hand. I’ll let go once Mom-Bot has a hold of you with her extended-arm. Mom-Bot, can you reach Jamie?
MOM-BOT: Negative, system command has failed.
THE PROF.: Mom-Bot, extend your arm and grab Jamie.
JAMES: I think something’s wrong with her, Professor.
JAMIE: Pull me back up.
THE PROF. is about to pull JAMIE back up when an almighty crash can be heard from upstairs. Hearing this, THE PROF. jumps and JAMIE slips.
THE PROF.: I’ve got you.
JAMIE: Don’t let go.
THE PROF.: You’re slipping; give me your other hand.
JAMIE stretches out her other hand, desperately trying to hold onto THE PROF..
JAMES: Mom-Bot, do something.
MOM-BOT: Nothing works, I think I-I-I-I.
MOM-BOT jerks erratically and bright sparks begin to fly from her body.
THE PROF.: I… can’t…
JAMIE looks into THE PROF.’S eyes and gasps as she feels the tight-grip of his hand release her. Instinctively, she shuts her eyes and braces herself for the ground.