Episode Nine « All Cleared Up

Act 3Everyone walks into main hall of the laboratory and takes a seat.

CALISTA: Listen, thanks again for doing this.
THE PROF.: It’s really no trouble. Besides, you’d do the same for me.
CALISTA: Of course, absolutely. So, where should we stay?
THE PROF.: There’s a spare bedroom upstairs and I don’t mind giving up my bed.
CALISTA: I wouldn’t ask you to do that.
THE PROF.: It’s alright. I sleep on the sofa in my office most nights; I don’t even think the bed’s been made.
JAMES: That’s great and all but what about me… where does Paolo sleep?
THE PROF.: He’s probably gone out for the night.
JAMES: Oh… well that sucks. What am I even doing here?
JAMIE: You’re supposed to be keeping me from going insane.
JAMES: I repeat, what am I even doing here?!
THE PROF.: Hey, you’re here to do what men do best.
JAMES: Kiss each other?!
THE PROF.: Protect the women.
CALISTA: Excuse me, I do not need protecting. I managed to hold back that crazy mob just fine until they knocked down the door.
THE PROF.: Alright then, you two stay here whilst James and I get Mom-Bot.
CALISTA: Both of you? I’m sure it doesn’t take two people to…
JAMES: Now now, The Professor’s right. You two can look after yourselves.
 
JAMES and THE PROF. go back into the cellar.
 
JAMES: Boy, we’ve sure had a few crazy events since you created that Mom-Bot.
THE PROF.: Hmm.
 
THE PROF. begins to manoeuvre a ladder down the manhole.
 
JAMES: I hope you manage to fix her properly this time.
THE PROF.: And what’s that supposed to mean.
JAMES: It just seems that every time you fix her she goes and does something even crazier.
THE PROF.: You try building a computerized automatron with bipedal movement and then giving her the memories of a mother. Sometimes man shouldn’t play god.
JAMES: Oh you love it.
 
THE PROF. stumbles back from the manhole with a discerning look on his face.
 
JAMES: I was just joking.
THE PROF.: Mom-Bot’s gone.
JAMES: What! Gone where?
THE PROF.: She’s not down there.
JAMES: D’you think the mob took her?
THE PROF.: No, there’s no way they could have followed us. I fear something terrible may have happened to her CPU that’s caused her to…
JAMES: Let me guess, turn into a homicidal maniac.
 
THE PROF. looks at JAMES with guilt in his eyes.
 
THE PROF.: We’d better get back to Jamie and Calista before…
 
Suddenly, a metallic whirring sound echoes around the room causing JAMES and THE PROF. to freeze.
 
JAMES: Before Mom-Bot kills us? 
THE PROF.: I can’t see her. We might be able to get out and lock her inside if we move quietly towards the…
 
JAMES suddenly screams and dashes out of the cellar.
 
THE PROF.: …Door.
 
Upstairs, JAMIE and CALISTA jump out of their chairs as JAMES runs into the main hall screaming.
 
JAMES: Mom-Bot’s on a murderous rampage, run for your life!
 
JAMES continues past JAMIE and CALISTA who grab on tight to each other and stare intently at the cellar door as a shadowy figure looms into view.
 
JAMIE: Mommy?
 
JAMES is frantically running through corridors until he reaches a darkened room and senses someone is inside with him. Instinctively, he flips on a light-switch and hears the electricity surge through the tube lights in the ceiling. As they flicker on, JAMES’ eyes widen as he sees PAOLO strapped into a harness, hanging in mid-air and wearing a ball-gag.
 
JAMES: Oh Paolo, it’s only you. Do you know anywhere I could hide? Mom-Bot’s gone on the rampage again.
 
PAOLO tries to speak but only muffled noises escape.
 
JAMES: What’s that you say, The Professor tied you up? Look, what you and The Professor get up to in your spare time is between you…
 
PAOLO rolls his eyes and tries to communicate with JAMES again.
 
JAMES: Wait, he tied you up against your free will. Well that can’t be right.
 
PAOLO impatiently tries to shake himself free as he continues trying to talk.
 
JAMES: You know I don’t speak Mexican, now slow down and start from the beginning.
PAOLO: Duhh-Duh-Dowr-Duh-Dow-Di-Dowrf!
JAMES: Well if you’re going to be like that then fine, you can go find your own hiding place!
 
JAMES turns to leave but PAOLO frantically tries to communicate with him one last time.
 
JAMES: Alright, alright, I’ll turn off the light. Geez, what a kinky bugger!
 
JAMES retraces his steps, deciding to try and find the others. He slowly walks into the main hall and is confused to see JAMIE and CALISTA tied up to some chairs.
 
JAMES: What are you guys doing? Is it National S-and-M Day or something!
 
JAMIE turns to see JAMES walking towards her, but before she can answer him a lone-gunshot echoes around the hollow room and blood splatters over JAMIE’S clothes. She watches in horror at JAMES’ confused face staring into her eyes.
 
JAMES: Your shirt… aw shit, I know what that means!
 
As Imogen Heap’s “Hide and Seek” starts playing from out of nowhere, JAMES falls to the floor in slow motion as JAMIE screams.
 
JAMIE: Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo – Ohmigod, I love this song!
CALISTA: How could you, he’s your friend?

In the shadows a figure emerges holding a smoking-gun.

THE PROF.: Was my friend, foolish whore.

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