Episode Ten « All Cleared Up

Act 3 – JAMIE is stood outside JAMES’ front door. She sighs and knocks on the door. JAMES rushes to open it and greets JAMIE with a huge grin.

JAMES: You’re here! Did you get my message?
JAMIE: I haven’t been home; I had to sort out my dress for tomorrow so I went straight over to Calista’s. Why, what’s happened.
JAMES: Only the best possible news on the entire planet!
JAMIE: You found out Tyra Banks is releasing a fragrance?
JAMES: Okay, second best. Oh who am I kidding, I’m over the moon! I am in love!
JAMIE: Jamie, listen.
JAMES begins to dance around as JAMIE tries to break the news to him.
JAMIE: I went round to ask Paolo.
JAMES: You did?!
JAMIE: What was that for?
JAMES: I don’t know what you said but thank you so-so much. If you ever need a kidney or whatever, you can count on me.
JAMIE: Jamie, listen. When I got round to The Professor’s I saw something… something that might shock you.
JAMES: I’m so glad you persuaded me to not go with you to the formal; I think I was just about ready to turn straight if I had to go out on another date with you.
JAMIE: Then you may not like what I’m about to say… Paolo-
JAMES: Said yes!
JAMIE: No. No, he didn’t.
JAMES: Yes he did, he just called me.
JAMIE: I saw him kissing… he called you?
JAMES: To say he’d love to go to the formal with me tomorrow. Wait, you saw him kissing who?
JAMIE: …Your picture! He was kissing a photo of you after I told him how much you’d like to go to the formal with him.
JAMES: Oh! We’re so perfect for each other. You wanna come in?
JAMIE: No, I better get home. Mom-Bot’s making fish-pie and I want to make sure I don’t end up eating sushi-pie like last time.
JAMES: Alright, well Paolo’s meeting me there tomorrow night so why don’t you stop by my house when you’re ready to go and we can leave together.
JAMIE: Why not just go separately, I mean with both have dates.
JAMES: Because, my dad found out I was going to the formal and started asking all these questions.
JAMIE: Oh I see; I’m your decoy date.
JAMES: Psshaw, I would never say that. But if we happen to be leaving together to go to the formal and my dad inadvertently thinks you are my date then I can’t very well break his heart now can I?
JAMIE: Alright, call me whatever you want and I’ll call you when I’m ready to come over.
JAMES: Vicious Trollop!
JAMIE: Excuse me?!
JAMES: You said ‘call me whatever you want’!
JAMIE: Goodnight, Jamie!
JAMES: Skanky Tart?! Slutbag Ho?! The Gonorrhoea Girl?!