Episode Eleven « All Cleared Up
Opening – JAMIE is eating breakfast in the kitchen with MOM-BOT.
MOM-BOT: Would you like another raisin burrito, Jamie?
JAMIE: Not really, it tasted kind of…
MOM-BOT turns and JAMIE sees she’s brandishing a large butcher-knife.
JAMIE: Sure, Mom! Another one of your delicious, home-made raisin burritos will really set me up for the day.
MOM-BOT: Wonderful, let me just finish dicing these coriander leaves and then I will whip you up another batch of raisiny goodness.
JAMIE: I take it you renewed our subscription to The Food Network.
MOM-BOT: That I did!
JAMES: Good morning, everybody!
JAMIE: James, what are you doing here this early? I can’t go on an adventure with you yet, I’m still eating breakfast.
JAMES: Can’t a guy come over and see his purely-platonic girlfriend for breakfast once in a while?
JAMIE: No! You spend every waking hour at my house. I’m beginning to wonder if you even have parents.
JAMES: Of course I have parents, Jamie! What, you think I killed them when I was eleven-years-old, destroyed their bodies in acid and tied-up their bones together with fishing wire so I could prop them around my house in order to sustain my fragile ego?!
JAMIE: You ever heard of the word “psychosis”, Jamie?
JAMES: Si-Co-Sis… you mean like Calista?!
MOM-BOT raps her kitchen utensils on a pan, imitating a drum beat!
JAMIE: Oh, that reminds me! Calista invited me over for a sleepover at her house tonight. It’s okay if I go right, Mom-Bot?
MOM-BOT: Calista… she is not still trying to kill you, is she?
JAMIE: She never – no, Mom-Bot!
MOM-BOT: I am kidding, of course it is alright. I will phone Calista and pack you an overnight bag.
JAMES: A sleepover?! I’m so excited, why didn’t you tell me.
JAMES: Oh this is going to be so much fun. We can bake chocolate-chip cookies and then eat the dough in our pyjamas whilst we play truth-or-dare.
JAMIE: You’re not coming.
JAMES: And then we – I beg you’re what?!
JAMIE: You are not coming.
JAMES stares at JAMIE with wide eyes as minutes of silence pass.
JAMES: I’m not coming?
JAMIE: To the sleepover. It’s girls only.
JAMES: What?! This is gender-discrimination, you can’t do that, I’ll sue your ass off!
JAMIE: You don’t work for me, Jamie, you’re my friend.
JAMES: Well FINE! I’m gonna have my own sleepover club – BOYS ONLY. See how you like it, bitch.
JAMES storms out as JAMIE rolls her eyes and fakes a smile as MOM-BOT hands her another raisin burrito on a plate. Suddenly, JAMES walks back into the kitchen and takes the raisin burrito off the plate, wafting it in front of JAMIE’S face.
JAMES: You don’t own everything, Jamie. This is your wake up call!
JAMES starts eating the raisin burrito as he leaves.
JAMES (off-screen): God, this tastes like shit!
Various pre-filmed footage of the character’s jumping around a park intercut with future scenes from the show. Each character’s name is pulled on by a hoping CGI bunny.
“Every birthday, my mom would say to me,
You’re another year older and you’re still getting spottier.
But then she died and I moved in with my sister,
I’m called Jamie, she’s Calista and our Mom is a robot!
All Cleared Up!
I really wanna scream it loud!
All Cleared Up!
I want them all to know!
All Cleared Up!
I really hope that things will be,
All Cleared Up for me!”