Episode Twelve « All Cleared Up

Act 4The next day, JAMIE is in her living room. JAMES walks in through the front door and is shocked to see a life-size poster of MOM-BOT taped over the kitchen doorway.

JAMES: Let me guess, your idea?
JAMIE: It just didn’t seem right unveiling her without a big fuss. How’d it go convincing your dad to meet Mom-Bot?
JAMES: Surprisingly easy! He agreed to meet her outside the multiplex in an hour and then go to a restaurant for something to eat. Have you spoken to Calista yet?
JAMIE: I tried phoning her again but still no answer.
JAMES: Are you worried?
JAMIE: Not really, she’s spending Spring Break in Mexico with some friends so it’s understandable; what with the whole police-chase a couple of weeks ago I think she deserves a little break.
JAMES: And I bet The Professor’s been enjoying having his laboratory to himself once again.
JAMIE: He’d like you to think that, but when I showed up on his doorstep last night he was more than happy to drop what he was doing in order to help Mom-Bot and your dad find true love.
JAMES: Speaking of which, I was thinking and what if the upgrade sort of cancels out the effects of the impulse ray?
JAMIE: Already got it covered; the professor’s going to bring along the impulse ray once it’s fixed, just in case, and until then we are going to secretly chaperone their date.
JAMES: But I Love New York is on in an hour.
JAMIE: So, tape it!
THE PROF.: Are you two ready?
JAMIE: Ooh, here we go!
JAMES: Who says tape anymore?!
JAMIE pulls JAMES in front of the poster to watch the grand unveiling of MOM-BOT.
JAMIE: Ready!
From inside the kitchen, “Plastic Surgery Slumber Party” starts to play on a stereo. THE PROF. rushes in through a gap and holds out his arms.
THE PROF.: Ladies and Gentleman, presenting, the all-new Mom-Bot!
JAMES: Ha, you are sooo gay!
As the music builds, a small silhouette can be seen through the paper. It gets larger and larger until MOM-BOT crashes through and comes to a halt in front of the three teenagers. Everything is deathly quite until JAMIE clears her throat to address THE PROF..
JAMIE: Err, that’s the skin you chose?
THE PROF.: What? I’ll admit, on the computer it didn’t look this…
THE PROF.: James!
JAMIE: Hey, that’s my mom! And why’s she fat?
THE PROF.: All those wires had to go somewhere; you should be thankful I used fibre-optics.
JAMIE: Yes, thank you for not making my mother hideously obese. We’ll just have to pray your dad likes big booty’s.
JAMES: Oh, I don’t think that’s something you have to worry about – I’m more concerned about the piercing black eyes… they’re kind of intimidating.
THE PROF.: Oh, that’s cos she’s powered down; give me a sec…
THE PROF. walks behind MOM-BOT.
THE PROF.: Close your eyes, James.
JAMES closes his eyes as THE PROF. lifts up MOM-BOT’S shirt and powers her on.
THE PROF.: Alright, Jamie, I’d like you to meet Miranda Ophelia Morgan Beatrice Olivia Taylor – or, Mom-Bot, for short!
JAMIE: You named her?
THE PROF.: It’s my creation, I’ll name it whatever the damn hell I please!
JAMES: How about we let her choose a name.
JAMIE: Alright, but she hasn’t opened her eyes.
THE PROF.: Well, wake her up!
JAMIE reaches out and touches MOM-BOT’S arm. MOM-BOT wakes up and JAMIE stares into her bright blue eyes. MOM-BOT looks down at JAMIE, smiles, and touches her hand. JAMIE looks up and smiles as a tear rolls down her cheek.
THE PROF.: What’s wrong? Is she hurting you? Are her teeth too white?
JAMIE: She’s perfect!