Episode Thirteen « All Cleared Up
Act 3 – In her bedroom, JAMIE twiddles the telephone cord around her finger and waits.
JAMES (on phone): What’s up, bitch! If you’re listening to this it means I’m getting lucky with your boyfriend right now.
JAMIE (on phone): You’re so full of crap!
JAMES (on phone): Shut the fuck up! *BEEP*
JAMIE: Hey, it’s not like you to switch your phone off so I hope you’re okay. Give me a call-back when you get this, I really need your help; I have no clue how to even attempt to bring up the gay-conversation with my Mom.
MOM-BOT: What gay conversation.
JAMIE turns and sees MOM-BOT standing at her door.
JAMIE: Of course, that might work!
JAMIE hangs up the phone and walks over to MOM-BOT.
MOM-BOT: Is there something you want to tell me.
JAMIE: I was actually hoping you’d tell me something… okay… I don’t know exactly how to say this so, I’m just gonna say it… are you gay?
MOM-BOT: Gay?! Me?! Jamie, why on earth would you ask that?
JAMIE: I’m not bothered, okay? You can just tell me.
MOM-BOT: Considering I’ve just been out on a date with a man – a date you set me up on, I might add, I think it’s safe to say I’m not gay!
JAMIE: I watched you on that date; you looked like you were waiting to have a root-canal! I think… I just think you’ve got this new body and these new feelings that you don’t know how to – how did Jamie put it?
MOM-BOT: Jamie? Oh, James, I might have known!
JAMIE: What’s that supposed to mean.
MOM-BOT: Honestly, Jamie, you’re so gullible sometimes.
MOM-BOT walks off laughing to herself as JAMIE scrunches up face and storms off after her.
JAMIE: Excuse me?! What exactly are you implying?
MOM-BOT: I don’t know the exact words the two of you exchanged but I’m pretty sure James was just having you on.
JAMIE: He was very concerned about you, actually. How this might affect our relationship.
MOM-BOT: Sounds to me like he was more bothered about his parents’ relationship.
MOM-BOT stops and faces JAMIE.
MOM-BOT: I knew he was married, Jamie. Did you ever think maybe that was why I wasn’t showing any interest in him?
JAMIE: You never said.
MOM-BOT: I was trying to be thoughtful. I felt sorry for you when you told me about how you miss your father and I thought it would be a nice thing to do.
JAMIE: But you didn’t want to?
JAMIE: Because you weren’t attracted to him.
MOM-BOT: That has nothing to do with it.
MOM-BOT turns around and begins to walk off again.
JAMIE: Then how come every-time I try to bring it up you walk away?
JAMIE’S words stop MOM-BOT dead in her tracks. She slowly turns around and avoids looking at JAMIE.
MOM-BOT: I can’t remember what it was like before. Whether or not these… feelings have been a part of me all along.
JAMIE: Its okay, you know; I’m not gonna judge you… err, anymore!
MOM-BOT: All I’ve been trying to do this past year is be a good mother to you; and when you finally need me the most…
MOM-BOT turns back around and heads downstairs with JAMIE hot on her tail.
JAMIE: Why can’t you talk to me?
MOM-BOT: We are mother and daughter; this is not appropriate.
JAMIE: And, err, who do you exactly plan on talking to about this?
MOM-BOT: Nobody… I just simply won’t be gay. I managed alright before.
JAMIE: I don’t think it’s something you can just switch on and off; it’s always been a part of who you are, you just didn’t realise it until you got your upgrade.
MOM-BOT: My upgrade! The Professor must have done this to me; I think he’s evil.
JAMIE: Stop it! How dare you accuse him; he has been nothing short of amazing to this family since you arrived. Why can’t you just admit it?
MOM-BOT: You don’t understand; I cannot be gay right now. This just doesn’t fit into my schedule, not now I’ve gotten my new body.
JAMIE: What exactly do you plan on doing? Like I said, it’s not just gonna go away.
MOM-BOT: I am above-human, Jamie. I do not have to abide by your mortal rules.
JAMIE: Why don’t I like the sound of that?
MOM-BOT rushes into the kitchen, ahead of JAMIE, and grabs a fork out of the drawer. She places it to her temple and JAMIE raises her hands, stopping her.
JAMIE: What are you doing?!
MOM-BOT: Fixing things.
JAMIE: But you’re not broken.
JAMIE stares fiercely into MOM-BOT’S eyes as she begins to well-up. Seeing this, MOM-BOT pauses and finally lets the fork fall to the floor at the same time JAMIE’S tear hits the ground. MOM-BOT embraces her foster daughter and sighs.
MOM-BOT: Jamie, I think I’m gay.
JAMIE laughs as she wipes the back of her hand across her eyes.
JAMIE: Are you gonna be okay?
MOM-BOT: I’ll be fine.
JAMIE: Are you sure?
MOM-BOT: I’m just confused at how I’m supposed to act now. Should I shave my head?
JAMIE: No! One bald family member is quite enough, thank you.
MOM-BOT: This is going to take some time to adjust to.
JAMIE: It could; or you could just watch this…
JAMIE hands MOM-BOT a DVD Boxset of “The L Word”.
MOM-BOT: Where did you get this from?
JAMIE: It’s mine.
MOM-BOT: Why do you own a boxset of a show about lesbians?
JAMIE: It’s not exclusively about lesbians; there’re some straight people in it too!
MOM-BOT: Is there something you want to tell me, Jamie?!
JAMIE: Yes… I have a thing for Eric Mabius!
JAMIE laughs sarcastically and hugs MOM-BOT one last time before leaving.
MOM-BOT: Hold on, you can stay up if you want; watch it with me.
JAMIE thinks for a moment and remembers her need to talk to JAMES.
JAMIE: I’d like that.