Episode Fourteen « All Cleared Up


Act 2 – JAMES twirls the spoon around and pulls it out. He takes the two mugs in each hand and walks back into the main room of the laboratory.

JAMES: Here.

JAMES offers one of the mugs to THE PROF., who’s looking off into the distance. He snaps out of his daydream and accepts the mug.

THE PROF.: Oh, thanks.
JAMES: So, this place where you grew up, did they treat you well.
THE PROF.: It was great there. I mean sure, I didn’t have all the stuff normal kids my age had, but I got to… eventually.
JAMES: I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you were adopted.

JAMES sits back down and sighs.

JAMES: Were you afraid of what we’d think?
THE PROF.: No! It just never came up.
JAMES: It makes sense, I guess. It explains why you helped Jamie all those months ago.THE PROF.: If I had the ability to stop someone going through what I did, then I had to do whatever I could.
JAMES: So what happened once you were adopted?
THE PROF.: Life, basically. Although my parents realised that I wasn’t like other children.
JAMES: Right, because you were gay?
THE PROF.: No, you Foolish Whore, because I was a child genius!
THE PROF.: Yeah, so they were kind enough to enrol me in a private school and from there I went onto college and university.
JAMES: How old were you when you graduated?
THE PROF.: A… little older than you.
JAMES: Professor?!
THE PROF.: Okay, your age; I was fifteen.
JAMES: Fifteen!
THE PROF.: I wasn’t the youngest graduate they had; there was an eight-year-old there too.
JAMES: Fifteen… you were younger than me! I’m sixteen now.
THE PROF.: You are? That went fast.
JAMES: Not fast enough, thank you very much!
THE PROF.: What I mean is I can remember when I first met you, it feels like only yesterday.

JAMES blushes as he changes the subject.

JAMES: Where are your parents now then?
THE PROF.: Still in my hometown. When I graduated, it didn’t take long for me to get bored, so I decided that I wanted to devote my life to inventing great things that would make the world a better place. Got searching, and found this place in Sitcomland for hardly anything at all.
JAMES: Admit it, you’re really loaded!
THE PROF.: Really not.
JAMES: Your parents were cool though, letting you move out at fifteen.
THE PROF.: Well, I was sixteen by the time I moved out, obviously; and it wasn’t as simple as that. I got to live here on one condition… 

*End Flashback* 

JAMES comes out of his flashback and looks over to JAMIE, who still has the same confused look on her face that she had when his flashback began.

JAMES: Speak, woman!

JAMES slaps her four times.

JAMIE: I’m sorry! So, you’re Paolo’s sister? Hi, I’m Jamie!

JAMIE holds out her hand and smiles as NICKY turns her nose up and snorts.

NICKY: I know who you are.
THE PROF.: Nicky’s here because, well, Paolo never showed up at her house.
JAMES: He’s missing!
JAMIE: Oh! And you’ve been here all night…
NICKY: Trying to piece together what my big bro’ was up to before he got on that bus… no, wait a minute; what I meant to say was, before he got shoved on that bus because of you.
THE PROF.: Nicky!
JAMIE: Me, what did I do?!
NICKY: I know your type, missy, always thinking everything’s there business. Well you should’ve kept your big fat nose out!

NICKY turns around and heads towards one of THE PROF.’S computers as JAMIE gasps.

JAMIE: Fat?!
JAMES: She didn’t mean it; she just has a funny bone.
JAMIE: Yeah well, she won’t have any bones left when I’m through with her!

JAMIE attempts to leap onto NICKY but is held back by THE PROF..

JAMIE: Come on, let me at her!
NICKY: Yeah, you think you can take me?!
JAMIE: You’re gonna regret ever calling me fat!
NICKY: Whilst were at it, I better not leave out that you have the fashion sense of a partially-sighted goat and your hair resembles something that Paris Hilton threw-up!
THE PROF.: Is this really helping, Nicky?
NICKY: Come on, little bro’, I wanna see what she’s got; let her bring it.
JAMIE: Oh I’ll bring it, alright, I’ll – wait, little bro’?

THE PROF. lets JAMIE go but she just stands there and calculates what she’s just heard.

JAMIE: You’re her brother? Then, that means…

Everything is silent as JAMIE pauses.

JAMES: That means…
JAMIE: No, no, don’t tell me. That means… someone… is… something, with… someone else.
THE PROF.: Paolo and I are brothers, for crying out loud!

JAMIE gasps and her face contorts into a look of sheer confusion as the scene cuts to black.