Episode Nine « The Caliente Affairs

Act 3: Confessions

Orlando showed up a few minutes later. “I come in peace! No jokes, no ‘Freud’ crap, it’s just me. Do you wanna tell me what’s up?” Orlando said, offering only advice that a friend could offer, sensing that was all Dirk really wanted.

“Something happened the other week.” Dirk took a deep breath in, the cold December air soothing his lungs. “Something that’s made me freak out about my feelings.” Dirk could feel the words coming, but they were so hard to share. He didn’t know how Orlando would react.

So, instead of guessing, he decided to find out. “A boy… tried to kiss me.” Dirk said, feeling relieved that the world hadn’t imploded like he thought it would. Though the puzzled look on Orlando’s face now made Dirk feel uncomfortable.
“Gah, no wonder you didn’t want to talk to me in the shower. Me and my stupid psychoanalysing!” Orlando was blushing. Dirk laughed a little and expected the next question that came. “Who was it?”

Dirk knew better than to name Alex. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Orlando, but more the fact he wasn’t even sure if he could physically say those words out loud. “I can’t tell you. All I can say is, I thought we were having a great time as friends and then… he leaned in to kiss me. I was just so shocked.”

“As far as I knew, he has a girlfriend.” Dirk added, sharing with Orlando all his worries that had been stored up inside for the past few weeks.
“So, dude’s not gay?” Orlando asked.
“No, he’s gay. He didn’t try to deny what he wanted to do to me. And it makes me mad that he’s still pretending he’s straight. I’ve seen him getting close with his girlfriend, almost as if he assumes I’ll get jealous and come over to him, begging or something.” Dirk told Orlando more about Alex’s attempts to strike up a conversation at school, only to be left standing alone, with Dirk walking off and not saying a word.
“Do you think he assumes you’re like him, pretending to be straight?” Orlando asked.

“I don’t wanna know what he’s thinking.” Dirk said, feeling awkward about the question. “The girl he’s seeing is one of my friends too. She’s really sweet, and I don’t want to see him hurt her.” Dirk said, asking for Orlando’s advice.

“Oh. Well, I think you might be feeling some sort of guilt. Feeling like you betrayed your friend – even though it’s not your fault.” Orlando offered, feeling the advice coming to him so easily.
“Then, why does it feel like I’m the one who’s done something wrong?”
“I think maybe, just maybe, that not kissing him has meant a part of you wonders what would have happened if you had kissed him.” Dirk looked at his shoes and begrudgingly admitted the truth.
“Yeah, I kind of do feel like that.” Orlando saw his friends honesty and tried to make him feel better.
“Well, it’s not your fault. You’re not the one with a girlfriend, pretending to be something you’re not. You can go around kissing boys if you want to, it’s him who should be feeling guilty.”

“I do not want to go around kissing boys. That’s disgusting!” Dirk assured his friend, as he cringed just at the thought of it.

Trying not to laugh, Orlando offered his friend his final word of advice. “I think what you have to do is tell this dude’s girl. Then maybe your conscience will be put to rest by showing yourself that you can do good – and it will be good, she deserves to know.” Orlando said.
“Given my recent experience, being caught as a cheater, I would actually have to agree with you. It’s better out in the open. But having said that, I just don’t think I can tell a girl that their boyfriend is gay.” Dirk admitted.
“You say she’s your friend? I think she’d be pretty pissed if she found out you knew all along and didn’t tell her. I mean, I’d want to know if my girlfriend was trying to make-out with another chick…”

“…but of course, that’s because I’d want to be there to get in on the action!” Orlando laughed. Ignoring his friends joke, Dirk thought long and hard about what he was going to do. He knew Orlando was right, he had to tell Meadow that Alex didn’t feel the same way she did about him. But could he really tell Meadow that her boyfriend was gay?