tomZbrain

You’ll be happy to know that I’ve been taking my medication every morning this week (or, you’ll be unhappy to find out that I haven’t been taking it daily).

I take my little pills every day as soon as I wake up – those ones are easy. It’s just my horse pills that are difficult. I really shouldn’t have waited so long to figure out a solution to getting them in my body regularly (the solution is frozen fruit smoothies, thank you, Nutribullet).

They manage my excess iron, and it’s been a journey getting this treatment. Used to be the only way I could get this drug in my body was by way of infusion, and that meant having a pump attached to my body 24/7 for basically 14 years of my life. Wearing baggy clothes and deep pockets to hide this condom-like balloon full of liquid. But, hey, I made it work!

And then… there were advancements, and I could take a pill (well, 3 pills) that would achieve the same results, and I no longer needed to be hooked up to a machine. Which meant I no longer relied on having a Hickman Line. Which meant I could have it taken out and replaced with a port-a-cath. Which meant I could go swimming! Which meant I could feel comfortable in my body for the first time in my life! Everything changed in 2014; I had six years of personal growth, and I flourished.

And then… March 2020 happened, and it was extremely easy for me to slip back into being that person I used to be – the one who hid in his bedroom and was on the computer every day (well, it was easy once I bought myself a new computer – it’s been 11 years, I think I deserved it). And it was very easy for me to think to myself, “hey, why bother managing your excess iron, that’s the least of your worries right now!” But, that was selfish and foolish of me, and I apologise. I woke up Monday morning with the decision made to commit to taking my medication as prescribed.

And then… I got The Call.

As you’re reading this, I’m receiving my first dose of the COVID-19 vaccine. I honestly didn’t think this day would come within a year of that first lockdown. I had specifically bought my new computer as a Christmas present to myself because I was resigned to the fact I was going to be spending as much time indoors as I had done in 2020.

But then… there were advancements. I know we as a world still have a long journey ahead of us, but this week has just filled me with so much hope and clarity that I can see now I’m not just doing the right thing because it’s good for me, I’m doing it because I want to do it. I want to be the change. I want to be present in the world again, and I want to be a present to the world again. Because, as Paula Abdul once said, I’m tired of not being treated like the gift that I am!