Terminally tomsbrain

Well a year has passed, and do you know how I know? Because I documented a good chunk of it and accidentally made a movie.

Now, it’s not a movie in the traditional sense, but what defines a movie thesedays anyway? One wayward sneeze and we could all be trapped at home for 12 weeks again. Movies are what we say they are, and this is a movie, goddammit. It has a beginning and a conclusion and arc and I actually edited some parts to make the narrative more coherent (because one day I can be crying about death and the next dancing and singing).

But it didn’t include everything. Some parts I kept very close to my chest. Like the fact at the end of October I was using a walking stick. It literally came out of nowhere and if it hadn’t have been for the film festival I wouldn’t have had anything positive to focus on. I remember my second film being on one of the sofas for a documentary and just laying horizontal at one point because I was so defeated and exhausted from discomfort. I powered through and the need for it quickly subsided after my blood transfusion, and I got back to walking again without one. My beautiful friend came to stay with me for the first time and we saw a night’s worth of horror films at the Hyde Park Picture House. I purposefully kept Max out of my film and tiktoks because I think, reflecting back on things, I was very nervous of becoming invested in something new when I know I don’t have a lot of time left.

I used tiktok as a way to talk when I couldn’t talk, but with Max I’ve felt as if I’ve been able to open up and share my feelings to someone who accepts me for all that I am and have to offer. And also, in her round about way of being overly protective, I had to be honest with mum and tell her that I’d met someone who I really liked and wanted to see and the easiest way this was going to work out for us all was if Max stayed here for the weekend. And amazingly my mum and stepdad were fine with that (fine is a very apt word), and Max has stayed a further two times, which has only helped make me feel secure and safe and not afraid of what the future holds. I don’t mind what’s coming, I know I’ll be okay.

The Brainies

Welcome, ladies and gentlethem, to the first annual Brainies. The web’s most prestigious made-up award ceremony that ends in “ies” to honour the most revered works in film and music and anything else that I feel like talking about. Today, I will be awarding 2019’s best in film, acting, and writing. There will be no in-memorium, this year, because nobody died. Without further ado, to present the award for Best Actor, I present… me!

• Best Actor
  Lorn Macdonald as Spanner in “Beats”
  Cristian Ortega as Johnno in “Beats”
  Justice Smith as Tim in “Pokémon Detective Pikachu”
  Evan Alex as Jason / Pluto in “Us”

I’m not really as captivated by male-centric films as I am with female lead films, but Beats for me was easily one of the best films I saw from 2019. I decided to watch it based on repeatedly sitting through the trailer in Hyde Park Picture House. I can’t say why exactly, but undoubtedly the portrayal of Spanner’s character was unlike anything I’d seen before and I needed to know more. Outstanding! 

• Best Actress
  Beanie Feldstein as Molly in “Booksmart”
  Dawn Luebbe as Lisa “Greener Grass”
  Pollyanna McIntosh as The Woman in “Darlin'”
  Lupita Nyong’o as Adelaide / Red in “Us”

Here’s where it got difficult. Picking only four actresses to highlight for their work in 2019. As amazing as they all were, Lupita just eases ahead of everyone else for her dual portrayal in Us. She also wowed in the very under appreciated Little Monsters.

• Best Adapted Screenplay
  Toy Story 4
  Pokémon Detective Pikachu
  Terminator: Dark Fate
  Darlin’
  Jumanji: The Next Level

There was a lot of expectations riding on Pokémon’s first live action feature film. So many things could have gone wrong. How do you make a 20 year old franchise feel brand new whilst still honouring the original and not alienating long time fans? Can it even be done? I’m here to say, Detective Pikachu came pretty damn close to being perfection. I had to call it the best of 2019, because of the expectation versus payoff.

Best Original Screenplay
Booksmart
Beats
Us
Greener Grass

Indescribable. I could watch this film another 10 times and see a different side to it every time. I feel like every frame is chockfull of so much colour; so much detail. Even the costumes alone are exquisitely demented! If you don’t like Greener Grass, keep calm and carry on, because you may be the exact people this film is making fun of!

Best Foreign Language Film
And Then We Danced
Matthias & Maxime
Synonyms
Monsoon

Whilst And Then We Danced rated higher for others, and Matthias & Maxime was directed by my favourite Xavier Dolan, Monsoon has stayed with me long after seeing it and is the one I want to watch again. I liked all of the characters, and thought they we’re really well written and helped give insight into a film where there may not have been much scripted dialogue (I even wondered if this counts as a Foreign Language film). I think you could tell Kit’s estranged neighbour is wanting to say all throughout their time together, “if your family had stayed, we might have fallen in love.” It’s not just me that was picking some vibes up, right?

• Best Documentary
  Leaving Neverland
  Bikram: Yogi, Guru, Predator
  The Great Hack
  Fyre

What a year for documentaries! Another election, another year of lessons not learnt from The Great Hack (I couldn’t exactly delete my Facebook and Twitter, but I did scale way back on everything so that now I am a shallow husk of a former human being). Whilst I still haven’t been able to see the other (apparently more coherent) Fyre Festival documentary, it feels like that is so irrelevant and happened years ago. For me, 2019’s best documentary was the shocking, exposing, sickening recount of Bikram. Jackie Lacey, extradite him! It’s 2020, extradite him now! You should have extradited him long before now! Most days I pass by the proudly displayed Bikram Yoga sign in Leeds, and had always wondered how one opened AFTER the deposition. Now I know. I want to go to every other business that operates inside that mall and ask, are they happy to have their brand displayed next to that of a predatory rapist?

• Best Short
  Yellow Peril: Queer Destiny
  Cuban Heel Shoes
  The Distance Between Us and the Sky
  A Night With Noorjehan

I saw more short films in 2019 than ever before, thanks to Leeds International Film Festival putting on two nights of screenings for both its Queer Short Film offerings. The best offering I felt was Cuban Heel Shoes from Spain by Julio Mas Alcaraz.

• Best Horror Picture
  Darlin’
  Us
  Ma
  Midsommar
  Happy Death Day 2U
  Pet Sematary
  Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark
  The Haunting of Sharon Tate
  Child’s Play
  Brightburn

Horror is my thing. It’s the genre I love most. And in 2019, I saw a lot of horror. 5 films in one day, in fact. For me, the best was Darlin’, the directorial debut of Pollyanna McIntosh. Taking the story from Lucky McKee’s utterly bloodthirsty and outstanding The Woman, and creating a unique film that can still be watched either stand alone or in tandem with the other two films from the series. I came into this film only having seen The Woman once – over a year ago! I completely even forgot the two were connected until I got a proper look at Pollyanna McIntosh. The lead character of Darlin’ is expertly brought to life, and the kid actors that surrounded her were equally talented.

• Best Picture
  Toy Story 4
  Pokémon Detective Pikachu
  Terminator: Dark Fate
  Booksmart
  Beats
  Greener Grass
  Little Monsters
  Extra Ordinary
  Vivarium
  Come to Daddy

And so, it has come to this, the most coveted award of the night. Time may pass, but my love for Booksmart will never fade. It may even grow. I’ve been a fan of Sarah Haskins for over 10 years, and to finally see her name up on the big screen filled me with so much pride and joy and respect! I’m a little pressed about Olivia Wilde taking so much of the spotlight, it having been her directorial debut, but I loved the underwater scene, followed by the long tracking shot into the house. It was undoubtedly really well directed, and really well cast. Beanie Feldstein and Kaitlyn Dever were outstanding. In fact, everyone was outstanding. Billie Lourd, Noah Galvin, Jessica Williams. It reminded me so much of Daria, which I love, but this exists really well in the here and now.

Friends

I’m a little late in getting round to promoting this week’s episode of the Thomas McNab podcast, but I have a worthy excuse… I was born with an illness, jerks! Some days I feel worse than other days. What do you want me to say? I’m supposed to be attending lots of lovely film screenings, but I’m not feeling one-hundred up to it, so my goal of seeing forty films is already out of the question. That devastates me, but I need to take it easy. Hence, my lapsed promotion.

So, this week’s episode is all about My Friends – literally. It’s a song I wrote when I was eight-years-old, and you’ll hear me sing a bit of it in the podcast, but as a bonus treat for you dedicated blog readers, here’s the original recording from when I was ten-years-old.

End of LIFF 2011

Another festival draws to a close, and the last film I plan on attending is The Artist. I’ve a feeling the 25th Leeds Film Festival was a runaway success, screenings felt very busy. I won’t be posting individual reviews (maybe for one or two of the best, I don’t know), but you can expect a post soon with a rundown of everything I managed to sit through, and what I think is worth sitting through again!