Episode Three « All Cleared Up

Opening – JAMIE is sat in her Science class. The teacher, an uncharacteristically posh British woman with grey hair pulled back tight into a bun, gets the attention of the class.

MS. FAIRCHILD: Now class, before we move on to study our next subject, which I know you’re all eagerly anticipating.

The class of children snicker, knowing full well they will be studying sexual reproduction soon.

MS. FAIRCHILD (Under her breath): Bunch of randy little bastards. *Coughs* I’ve marked all of your completed essays from the topic I set last week about the Solar System and the Planetary cycle.

MS. FAIRCHILD walks up and down the aisles handing out papers and commenting.

MS. FAIRCHILD: Sophie; excellent punctuation, big improvement from last time. Katie; very good referencing, keep it up. Luke; Not quite sure about your theory of extraterrestrials being the cause of Pluto’s elliptical cycle but you argued your point across very well nonetheless. Jamie; Well…

JAMIE looks up at MS. FAIRCHILD who has a disapproving frown on her face.

MS. FAIRCHILD: I’m shocked. And let’s leave it at that, shall we… we all know what happened the last time I dropped F-bombs inside the classroom.

MS. FAIRCHILD walks off after placing JAMIE’S essay face down on her desk. Slowly she turns it over and is met with a giant red ‘F’. In a state of shock she slides off her chair and kneels down on the classroom floor.

JAMIE: No, No, Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

JAMIE throws her hands into the air and cries out. No-one seems very interested, to which JAMIE clears her throat and gets back into her seat.

MS. FAIRCHILD: Right, if you’re quite finished I’ll move on, shall I? Sebastian, hand me the lube!

*OPENING TITLES*

“Every birthday, my mom would say to me
You’re another year older and you’re still getting spottier

But then she died and I moved in with my sister
I’m called Jamie, she’s Calista and our Mom is a robot!

All Cleared Up!
I really wanna scream it loud!

All Cleared Up!
I want them all to know!

All Cleared Up!
I really hope that things will be,

All Cleared Up for me!”

NEXT »

Advertisements